"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" Ephesians 5:19-21
What would happen in our relationships with other believers if we truly took these verses to heart? How do our conversations together reflect that we submit to each other because of the Lord? How do we speak God's Word to each other?
"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." Proverbs 31:23
Now, why on earth would this verse be right in the middle of a passage on the Virtuous Woman? Does she have any control over whether or not her husband is respected?
Uh huh!
I bet I don't even have to tell you why. But just in case....how does word of anything get around town? Usually by the mouths of women...either on the phone, in person, in e-mails, or on the blog. I've learned the hard way, that I best count on anything I say about my husband being fit for the whole world to know.
Do the things I say about him to others, reflect that I love and respect him?
Extra credit: Ya, it is the same as last time. If you are really up to it, ask him what he thinks...and yep, have Kleenex on hand.
"nor takes up a reproach against his neighbor;" Psalm 15:3c
takes up: This is the same word that is used when referring to forgiveness in the Old Testament. It means to "cause to carry". It can also mean to "lift up" or remove the load.
reproach: slur, disgrace, contempt, scorn, insult
So to cause your neighbor to carry around the weight of your contempt and insults....to make him walk around in disgrace.
How do we do that anyway? Have you ever asked someone's forgiveness and been denied....or perhaps they said they forgave you but continued to hold you at a distance? How do you feel when you are around them? Perhaps like you are a disgrace?
Ever been on the outside of a circle? The one that gets left out of conversations? events? "girls' night out"? How do you feel? Perhaps like you are carrying around their insults?
We can often easily see how it would feel, so how about we think how it makes others feel?
With the kids: Grab some back packs or any old bag and ask the kids to fill it as full as they can with their toys, etc. See who can get theirs the heaviest - then make them put it on....or if there are siblings, have them trade them around. Talk about how when we say something or do something mean to someone, it is like asking them to carry that heavy backpack. Our unkind words and actions are like a heavy load to carry around.
Memorizing:
Psalm 15
1LORD, WHO shall dwell [temporarily] in Your tabernacle? Who shall dwell [permanently] on Your holy hill?
2He who walks and lives uprightly and blamelessly, who works rightness and justice and speaks and thinks the truth in his heart,
3He who does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his friend, nor takes up a reproach against his neighbor;
"He who does not slander with his tongue..." Psalm 15:3a
The word slander, here, combines a couple of meanings together. It means to backbite, slander, and "tale bear"....but it also means to scout and spy...and to lead about, teach to go.
Can you see how this goes together? This word not only means to say mean things/lies...it means to look for bad things to say and to lead others into your trap - to lead them on in your opinions. That is pretty much the meaning of being a tale bearer. Taking stories on the road and leading others to believe them. You may recognize it more as the word gossip.
This is such a huge temptation for women. God specifically warns young women about this temptation in 1 Timothy 5 as Paul gives instructions to the church on how to treat young widows:
"Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan." 1 Timothy 5:13-16
I can remember years that I was so lonely for adult conversation. I had a lot to do at home, but not much of it was intellectually stimulating. A day full of Sesame Street and conversations with two year olds, leaves a gaping hole in a woman's need for relationship. I remember how excited I would get if the phone would ring. Getting to go for a play date at another mom's house was like a trip to a day spa.
Those relational times are a blessing from God...but sometimes, when we are starving for adult conversation, we can easily find ourselves discussing things that damage others. We never mean to go there. We often preface stories and comments with, "I don't want to be a gossip..." But really, we are. period.
Ever been there? Man, I have!
With the kids: As much as I need to guard myself against gossip, I've learned I need to guard my kids. Almost as soon as they are old enough to make friends and talk, they are old enough to complain about a child and tell their siblings or another friend how mean so and so is and all the things they've done to make them mad. I've gotten pretty serious around here about shutting down conversations where one of my kids is slandering another child...for any reason. Sometimes my kids are being truthful. That other child does use bad words and is disrespectful, but it doesn't make it right lead others along in their opinions that are hurtful to that child. Make sense?
Memorizing:
1LORD, WHO shall dwell [temporarily] in Your tabernacle? Who shall dwell [permanently] on Your holy hill?
2He who walks and lives uprightly and blamelessly, who works rightness and justice and speaks and thinks the truth in his heart,
"..and speaks and thinks the truth in his heart." Psalm 15:2b
When I was reading this verse, I immediately thought of Luke 6:45:
"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."
According to this verse, how can we make sure we are speaking truth?
Are you putting truth in your heart? Maybe think through this list:
Am I reading books that contain truth?
Am I watching t.v. programs that contain truth?
Am I listening to music that contains truth?
Do I surround myself with friends that speak the truth?
Are you putting other things in your heart instead? What do you want to come out?
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." James 3:9-12
With the kids: You can be really silly with your kids when it comes to this concept. Maybe something like this....ask them what they'd like to drink with their meal. Then pour something different in their cup. While they are trying to correct you and remind you what they asked for, explain that it will come out as what they want....it doesn't matter what you put in the cup. They will either argue or just be confused. You may get as far as having them drink it and prove to you that it didn't change...Play dumb. Really? it didn't change? Then talk about how the things we put in our heart will be what comes out in our behavior.
Memorizing:
"1LORD, WHO shall dwell [temporarily] in Your tabernacle? Who shall dwell [permanently] on Your holy hill?
2He who walks and lives uprightly and blamelessly, who works rightness and justice and speaks and thinks the truth in his heart," Psalm 15:1-2
