When He Speaks My Name

Wow! I feel like a little reconnecting is in order! Knowing how busy life was going to be for me over the last couple of weeks, I tried to schedule most of the posts way in advance. The Those With Young Advisory Panel has had a lot going on (individually). Kim and Kendra both have had deaths in the family. Kristine is getting ready to have baby #6. Sharise has had a very sick baby. Angela (that's me) had a wedding in the family and a week away because of it. Everyone has been busy with spring breaks and Easter.

I have to admit that I've often been so tired lately that I just didn't have enough heart or brain power to write. But when I don't write, my heart and brain grow even more tired. It is a vicious cycle. Do you have a passion like that....something that just feeds your soul? Those passions are important to moms. We all need those things that we can pour ourselves into - knowing we are fulfilling a calling and using the gifts that God has given us, while we struggle our way through days where we are not always appreciated for our tireless efforts of nose wiping, fight settling, and dish washing.

On top of the fatigue, I had some hard blows this week that honestly got me really discouraged. There are some hopes and dreams I've had for a long time that have been dashed over and over again. So many times I've felt that God was finally moving - that the time was coming, and over and over again, everything falls through and every door closes. This particular time really put me in a tail spin. My heart was sick.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

One of the things I struggle with is doubting my calling. When I feel the doors never open - that they only close, I wonder....did God really even call me to this, or have I just lost my mind? I know there are seasons, but seriously? Will it always be winter? Can you identify?

Let me tell you a couple of things that ministered to me this week....both are wrapped up in my home group. I hope you have a home group (small group, cell group, family life group...whatever your church may call them). I don't know what we would do without ours.

1. I broke down and shared. Our church offers what we call "Immersion" every month for other churches to bring their pastors, staff, and leadership team to for training on being effective disciple makers. This particular week, our group had about ten extra people visiting who were all here from different areas on the Washington coast. They were all going through "Immersion" and had been sent to our group to get the feel for how we do small groups. I was late this particular night because I needed to pick up one of my kids from a friend's at the last minute. I walked into a group 2-3 times its normal size and full of people I didn't know. But when it came time to pray, I couldn't lie. I wasn't doing well. I humbled myself, broke down in front of everyone and confessed my sin of unbelief. The next day, I could literally feel the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ. My attitude and outlook felt completely different and God was speaking to me.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

2. God spoke through the story of Mary. 

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!"

 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)

Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

 They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"

   "They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

 "Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" 
      Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

 Jesus said to her, "Mary." 
      She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).

Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her. John 20:1-18

Picture this:

Mary feels that Jesus is gone. His followers have never caught on to the fact that he was really going to rise from the dead. She is already heartbroken when she's making her way to the tomb. When she gets there, she comes to the realization that he is REALLY GONE! He's just GONE!

She gets the disciples and they confirm that he isn't there. Mary is weeping in the garden and when Jesus approaches her to ask about her tears, she doesn't ever recognize Him. It could be that He looked different. It could have been that her eyes were so swollen that she couldn't see right. It may have been that she just couldn't make herself really look at the man who was talking to her. We don't really know. 

We do know that the moment that she recognized Him was when He spoke her name. She recognized His voice when He spoke her name. Do you think there was a special way He usually said her name? Did he say it with a little laugh, like "Silly Mary. I'm right here. Don't you see it is me?" I'm not sure, but there was some kind of familiarity there. Jesus and Mary had a relationship. 

I could identify with Mary this week because I've been looking for Jesus. I couldn't find Him. He had seemed to disappear. In my pain and grief, I didn't recognize that He was right there the whole time, but when He calls my name....Oh, man! When He gets my attention in the special way He knows to do with me (because we have a relationship), I can totally recognize Him. He called me to His Word, and He spoke to me through Mary's life.....and I realized that He never left at all. The whole time I thought He was gone, He was just working on fulfilling the promises He made....promises that, as Mary, I may not have even understood.

My week ended with hope because Jesus spoke. There are still many closed doors, but I can see that Jesus is really right there. He is always at work, even when I can't see it right away.

Have you heard Him speak your name, lately? How does He call you? 

My Peace I Give - by Sharise

John 14:27

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Today was filled with a lot of crying. It started with a lot of crying from my baby, and followed with a little crying from myself as well. No matter what I did, my daughter was inconsolable. And by the end of the day, my nerves were shredded. I thought of Those With Young, and remembered our talks about rest. So I pulled out my copy of Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. It is the devotional I always pull out during strenuous periods of my life. And it is well used! The curled edges of the pages and tattered cover remind me of a past in which I cried out to God.

There is a quote that I found again tonight and it filled me with hope. It says, “Rest is not some holy feeling that comes upon us in church. It is a state of calm rising from a heart deeply and firmly established in God.” I may not always have a restful feeling, but I can have a heart firmly established in God! So whether you are meeting with God in a coffee shop on a warm, spring day, or you are struggling to find words through your tears in your bed on a dark night, rest is available to us through Him! We must only give Him our heart.

The devotional tonight ended with this poem:

My peace I give in times of deepest grief

Imparting calm and trust and My relief.

My peace I give when prayer seem lost, unheard;

Know that My promises are ever in My Word.

My peace I give when you are left alone-

The nightingale at night has sweetest tone.

My peace I give in times of utter loss,

The way of glory leads right to the cross.

My peace I give when enemies will blame,

Your fellowship is sweet through cruel shame.

My peace I give in agony and sweat,

For My own brow with bloody drops was wet.

My peace I give when nearest friend betrays-

Peace that is merged in love, and for them prays.

My peace I give when there’s but death for thee-

The gateway is the cross to get to Me.

...and Wait in Expectation

"....and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3b

So, we've set our requests out before the Lord. He hears us, and we plead our case. Then what? Do we wait in expectation? Wow! Sometimes I do. But quite honestly, this verse challenges my heart beyond my ability to put into words. Sometimes I think I'm just uttering words because I really don't expect anything to happen.

So...does waiting in expectation mean that we can trust that once we lay things out before God and ask Him for them that we can expect to get them all?  What are we expecting? Are we expecting God to do whatever we want...like our own personal genie?  Or are we waiting expectingly to see what God has planned?  Maybe it looks nothing like what we asked for. Are we expecting things to happen or are we just expecting God to show up?

With the kids: 

I have to admit. Sometimes my kids ask me for something I can't do anything about. When they've whined and begged and pleaded, I often half-heartedly resign to "Well, we can pray about it." Do we show our kids that we expect God to show up and act?

Memorizing:

We're done! Do you know the whole thing?

Psalm 5:1-3

 ¹ Give ear to my words, O LORD,
       consider my sighing.

 ² Listen to my cry for help,
       my King and my God,
       for to you I pray.

 ³ In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
       in the morning I lay my requests before you
       and wait in expectation.

I Lay My Requests Before You

"....In the morning I lay my requests before you..." Psalm 5:3

The word translated "lay" here is translated "direct" in other translations. It can mean "ordered." Some translations say, "plead." I was glad I studied this, because at first, I was thinking this verse was talking about laying something down and leaving it there. But really, the intent here is to set things in order and plead your case. You are directing your request to the right place and pleading them before The One Who has the power to do something about it.

I love that God lets us present our case. He lets us put our thoughts in order and just let Him know how we think it is. What I love even more, is that we have Jesus to intercede for us...kind of like our lawyer. We know what we want or think we need. But Jesus, who really knows our heart, and knows the heart of God, mediates between us.

Read these beautiful verses:

 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26-27

With the Kids: Sometimes my kids need a little help getting their thoughts in order. When they feel they need something, often what I hear is "whine, whine, whine, blah, blah, I need, blah, blah, whine, whine." I'm glad Jesus intercedes for me, because I'm certain I often sound the same way. We have a whining policy at our house. I allow whining. I think that everyone should have the ability to get their feelings out. I just don't allow it in front of me. (Okay, on "good mommy, have it all together days" I don't allow it in front of me.) They can whine as much as they want in their room.

I often send my kids to their room to get their whining out and sort out what they really want to say. Then they can come back when they are ready to use real words, and I am happy to help them sort out the problem.

Whining is like emotional throw up. It contaminates everyone around, and is usually very irrational. However, whining shouldn't be mistaken for sorrow. Children need comforted when they are hurting (emotionally or physically), just as God comforts us.

Memorizing:

¹ Give ear to my words, O LORD,
       consider my sighing.

 ² Listen to my cry for help,
       my King and my God,
       for to you I pray.

 ³ In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
       in the morning I lay my requests before you

My King and My God

"....my King and my God, for to you I pray." Psalm 5:2b

Do you ever forget Who you are praying to? I do. I admit. There are times when I feel like I just spout stuff off to some elusive being who might or might not hear me and might or might not answer.

David reminds us that we are praying to the King of the Universe, who we've chosen to make our God. Not only is He the God of the Universe, but we have made it personal. We've chosen to follow Him.

He is who we plead to. It is Him we address.

I'm going to work on remembering that today!

With the Kids: My kids are pretty good at remembering who to come to, to get what they want. My littlest one, however, isn't so good at the asking part. He still resorts to pointing and grunting. He is six. Not good. But he is the baby of the family, and still hasn't caught on. Do you have anyone like that at your house? So, we have started "Baby Boot Camp" around here. We are working on asking - like actually using words and saying what we want. :)

Memorizing: Ok....It's not so bad adding a little at a time, is it?  Here is where we are now.

"Give ear to my words, O Lord,

consider my sighing.

Listen to my cry for help,

my King and my God,

for to you I pray."

Psalm 5:1-2

In the Morning, O Lord...

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice..." Psalm 5:3

David started his day out by calling out to God. I'm not sure that the morning part is critical, as much as the fact that he did it first. 

I'm learning (slowly but surely) that my prayers show my dependence on God. I think God likes it when this strong-willed woman declares her dependence of God. I need to remind myself that I'm dependent on God.

What I do first thing in the morning, shows what I believe is key to the success of my day.

We can start our day with the Lord in lots of ways:

• Face Time: Roll out of bed and onto our face, declaring Who is God and who is servant, giving our day to Him, and asking Him to order our steps.


• Spend time in the word and concentrated prayer.


• Cry out to the Lord for grace for the day...on the way to the puking child in the back bedroom.


• Pray with our spouse as we wake up together.

Neither the method or the location is critical...it is the heart declaring its need for the Lord.

With the kids: How are your kids being trained to start their day? Consider praying with/over each child as they wake up. I've found this to be an absolutely precious time.

Memorizing...

Psalm 5

 ¹ Give ear to my words, O LORD,
       consider my sighing.

 ² Listen to my cry for help,
       my King and my God,
       for to you I pray.

 ³ In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;

Listen to My Cry

"Listen to my cry for help..." Psalm 5:2a

Now we have graduated from sighing to full fledged crying. Cry here means "to cry with a loud voice, yell, call aloud."

Listen means "to pay attention to, take heed."

David is asking God to pay attention to him as he yells! Sounds a tad bit like a tantrum to me. Poor David. Doesn't he know tantrums are for toddlers? Apparently not. Again, this is why I love David. He is emotional. He is real, and he begs God to be a part of every bit of His reality.

Let's face it. We throw tantrums too. As much as we hate it when our kids do it, we have our adult versions of the same thing. Don't we?

God isn't scared off by our emotions. In fact, I think He is glad when we cry out to Him in our tantrums. We could so definitely cry out against Him or choose another method of retaliation. David had a habit of boring full force into the Lord with His emotions. He gave God every part of Himself. I don't think there is any better way of keeping our emotions in check.

With the kids: It is biblical to cry out to God and expect His response. If He is a our model as parents, then how can we respond to our kids when they are throwing their fits? God doesn't always give us what we ask for, does He? But what does He do with our cries? I'm asking God today to give me wisdom in responding to my kids' tantrums. I hope you join me.

Scripture Memory:

"Give ear to my words, O Lord,

consider my sighing.

Listen to my cry for help."

Consider My Sighing

"Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing...." Psalm 5:1

We've had a lot going on around here. There has been a lot of great spiritual/ministry things going on....and there have been a lot of really hard "life" stuff going on.

Bill's leg is not healing well. So we feel in a holding pattern regarding the future. He has gotten a desk job for now that will help out while we see if he heals enough to continue a golf career. In the meantime, three surgeries and two lay-offs in a year have caught up with us; and we find ourselves in the midst of many challenging circumstances.

Because of the overwhelmingly encouraging spiritual things on ministry opportunities around us, it has been hard to lose hope or get too down about things. Until last night, I hadn't even cried. I wasn't yet overwhelmed. If I began to think a lot about our troubling circumstances, I would simply sigh.

I love David. He was so in tune with God that he didn't wait until he was falling apart to ask God to hear Him. He asked God to simply consider His sighing.

This is such a great mom verse, because we are great "sighers." How many times a day do you think you sigh? I can't even count.

So today....Monday....when you just can't wake up and get going, and you aren't ready to face the day. Rest in the God who considers (understands, realizes, cares for, looks closely, gives full attention to, ponders, and has insight) your sighing. He doesn't wait until you are falling apart to care. He cares from the beginning.

With the kids: What a valuable lesson to learn that God cares about feelings. It is never to early to teach children to pray - simply talk to God and listen. Next time, that little one is upset, consider consoling them by telling them something like, "Ohh..let's tell Jesus about it" and then praying with them.

Have a great week!