Unresolved Anger

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry," Ephesians 4:26

There is great unrest in the heart of one who holds on to anger. How do I know? Because I've tried it quite a bit, actually. In fact, I tried it last night. I was mad at my dear husband. I didn't really want to talk to him at all. So I went to bed - without saying goodnight - without even telling him I was going to bed. I just went. I fell asleep fine. But I woke up with a clenched jaw and immediately playing the situations out in my mind again. Immediately God brought this verse to my mind.

Now. I have the opportunity to correct this issue today and not go to bed angry again tonight. I must confess I've not always done that. How about you? Do you have unresolved anger in your heart that is tormenting your spirit? Would you ask God to help you dig that up and take care of it today? Watch out! This is one of those dangerous prayers!

With the Kids: Consider hiding a rock in your kid's bed before they get there tonight. When they discover the discomfort, talk about what happens to our sleep and the rest in our hearts when we go to bed angry.

Memorizing: "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry," Ephesians 4:26

A Clean Slate

Are you a "New Year's Resolution" person? We tend to often think of New Year's as an opportunity to start over - with a clean slate. I was thinking this week, about how God gives us that opportunity everyday. He forgives our sins, washes them away, and remembers them no more! How awesome is that! We don't have to live in guilt or regret over all our past mistakes. They need not control us. We don't need to wait for a New Year or a birthday or anything else to start over.

If you are working on some resolutions today, consider including Hebrews 10:22-25 in your thoughts.

Hebrews 10

 ¹⁵ The Holy Spirit also gives witness to us about this. First he says

 ¹⁶ "This is the covenant I will make with them
      after that time, says the Lord.
   I will put my laws in their hearts.
      I will write my laws on their minds." —(Jeremiah 31:33)
¹⁷ Then he adds,
   "I will not remember their sins anymore.

      I will not remember the evil things they have done." —(Jeremiah 31:34)  ¹⁸ Where those have been forgiven, there is no longer any offering for sin.  ¹⁹ Brothers and sisters, we are not afraid to enter the Most Holy Room. We enter boldly because of the blood of Jesus. ²⁰ His way is new because he lives. It has been opened for us through the curtain. I'm talking about his body.  ²¹ We also have a great priest over the house of God. ²² So let us come near to God with an honest and true heart. Let us come near with a faith that is sure and strong. Our hearts have been sprinkled. Our minds have been cleansed from a sense of guilt. Our bodies have been washed with pure water.  ²³ Let us hold firmly to the hope we claim to have. The One who promised is faithful.  ²⁴ Let us consider how we can stir up one another to love. Let us help one another to do good works. ²⁵ Let us not give up meeting together. Some are in the habit of doing this. Instead, let us cheer each other up with words of hope. Let us do it all the more as you see the day coming when Christ will return.

Psalm 103
  ⁸ The Lord is tender and kind. He is gracious.
      He is slow to get angry. He is full of love.
 ⁹ He won't keep bringing charges against us.
      He won't stay angry with us forever.
 ¹⁰ He doesn't punish us for our sins as much as we should be punished.
      He doesn't pay us back in keeping with the evil things we've done.
 ¹¹ His love for those who have respect for him
      is as high as the heavens are above the earth.
 ¹² He has removed our lawless acts from us
      as far as the east is from the west.
 ¹³ A father is tender and kind to his children.
      In the same way, the Lord is tender and kind
      to those who have respect for him.
 ¹⁴ He knows what we are made of.

      He remembers that we are dust.

With the kids: Ask your kids what they'd like to learn or accomplish this year. Could be fun!

Memorizing: "A father is tender and kind to his children. In the same way, the Lord is tender and kind to those who have respect for him." Psalm 103:13

 

 

 

 

Psalm 23:5b-6a

 "You pour oil on my head.
      My cup runs over.
 I am sure that your goodness and love will follow me
      all the days of my life."

Psalm 23:5b-6a

I don't understand some sports. Well, really. I don't understand most sports. It really isn't my strong suit.  I really don't understand what makes some sports appealing to watch. One of the ones I really don't get? Boxing. Two men get in a ring and fight on purpose. They punch each other and make each other bleed....and people cheer and scream and think it is exciting.

I don't get it.

I did learn something new tonight, however, as I was sitting here blogging while my husband watched the sport in question. I learned that boxers put Vaseline on their face before the fight. Why? Apparently to lessen the impact of the punch as the opponent's glove slides off their face.

Hmmm.....

It got me thinking. I LOVE the relationships shown throughout Scripture of the natural to the spiritual. One such illustration is that oil is used to represent the Holy Spirit. Oil was used to fill the lampstand in the tabernacle, that was to be forever kept burning and never put out. It represented our continual need for the Holy Spirit. People were anointed with oil to show that God had a special purpose for them, or when they were being prayed over for healing.

So if we think through this in the spiritual, what happens when we are "greased" down with the Holy Spirit and someone throws a punch at us? The enemy's glove slides off!

That is how we can tolerate the hatred of the world, friends! That is how we can keep our confidence in the Lord while being bombarded with insults. Because we let the Holy Spirit grease us down. He makes us slick, so the attacks slide off.  

With your kids...

Consider doing something with your kids that will illustrate these concepts to them.

1. You could polish or waterproof a pair of shoes then drop water on them and watch it bead up.


2. Wax the car together and the spray it down and watch the water bead up.


3. Pour oil in a measuring cup, then dump it out. Then fill the same cup with something sticky like honey or molasses. Then dump out the sticky stuff and watch it slide right out.


4. Play catch, but butter your hands up first.

Talk about how when we belong to Jesus, the Holy Spirit seals us up like a waterproof coating. Others can say mean things to us or hurt our feelings, but Jesus will help it slide right off if we let Him. We can keep forgiving and loving people because Jesus is the one that loves us. It is okay if others don't always show us love. We can give them some of our extra, because Jesus gives us more than we need.

Micah 7:18

"Lord, who is a God like you?
      You forgive sin.
   You forgive your people
      when they do what is wrong.
   You don't stay angry forever.
      Instead, you take delight in showing

      your faithful love to them"

 Micah 7:18 NIrV

I wanted to put today's verse in the New International Reader's Version because the simplicity of it is exactly what I want to teach my children.

Jackie Kendall, of Power to Grow Ministries, has one of the greatest messages on forgiveness that I've ever heard. One of the things she says is that the greatest gift we can give to our children is to teach them to be good forgivers!

I couldn't agree more. Think about it. Essentially, that means teaching them to be like Jesus.

How do we teach the concept of this verse to our children? We live it! We model to them: God is a good forgiver, so I can be a good forgiver, so you can be a good forgiver.

It sounds so simple, doesn't it? What challenges to you find in living it out?

Check out this sample clip from Jackie Kendall!

Joel 2:12-13

Joel 2

 ¹² Even now—

          [this is] the LORD's declaration—
    turn to Me with all your heart,
    with fasting, weeping, and mourning.

    ¹³ Tear your hearts,
    not just your clothes,
    and return to the LORD your God.
    For He is gracious and compassionate,
    slow to anger, rich in faithful love,
    and He relents from sending disaster. 

There have been times I've been hurt so bad. I have to admit, I've often thought of how nice it would be for that person the person who hurt me to come crawling to me on their knees and in tears. I want to know how sorry they are for hurting me - that they feel REALLY bad.

But, then I think....what kind of a repenter am I? What do I do when I know I've hurt someone else? How do I respond when I've sinned against God? Do I downplay it? Do I try to stifle my emotions? Do I run after the Lord and/or the other one I have offended, or do I trudge with my head down?

What about you? What kind of a repenter are you?

Leave your comment here or discuss on Facebook.

Isaiah 44:22-23

Isaiah 44

 ²² I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
       your sins like the morning mist.
       Return to me,
       for I have redeemed you."

 ²³ Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this;
       shout aloud, O earth beneath.
       Burst into song, you mountains,
       you forests and all your trees,
       for the LORD has redeemed Jacob,
       he displays his glory in Israel.

Read it out loud! Shout it! Sing it! Dance it! The whole earth is rejoicing because of what God has done for us! Do we even realize the treasure we have to rejoice over? How long has it been since you have seriously celebrated the fact that you have been forgiven, redeemed, and set free?

Let's start together right now!

Are forgiveness and trust the same thing?

Though forgiveness doesn't depend on anyone's repentance, trust certainly does. Trust discerns if the offender is a safe person or not. Were they simply ignorant in their actions?  Or if they intentionally caused hurt, are they repentant? Have they changed? Or do they intend to continue to cause damage? 

Forgiveness is a heart attitude. Trust is an activity. Trust actively removes the armor that guards your heart from someone. Trust allows the offender to see and have access to your vulnerable parts. Trust extends phileo (friendship) love.

There is nothing sweeter than the unity of believers. Christ was very clear about the importance of restoring relationships and the steps that should be taken to do so. (Matthew 18). However, Christ also outlines the steps required to restore those relationships and the boundaries that should be drawn when someone refuses to repent.

Trust can only come after we’ve allowed God to heal the heart. Trust should come after full repentance on the part of the offender and after the Lord has prompted you that it is safe to move towards the restoration of a phileo relationship - rather than continuing to simply be a channel of His love.

We are often able to convince ourselves that we have fully forgiven someone, but just aren’t able to trust them yet….and that, in and of itself, is perfectly natural. However, the true test of the state of our heart is if we hope to trust them again. Do we hope to restore the relationship? Do we hope that things can be better some day? Do we pray for it? Do we keep our hearts open and willing? Are we willing for God to do miracles?

Thinking of yesterday's verse...can you see how God may be the same with us? How once again, he gives us the example? He forgives us for His own sake, based on Who He is. However, the way He shepherds us is quite dependent on our behavior, isn't it? 

Sometimes the lines between forgiveness and trust can seem blurry. But really there shouldn't be a line between...more like a line pointing from one to the other. Forgiveness is the beginning. Trust is the goal. A willing heart draws the line from one to the other, just as the Lord shows us.

Isaiah 43:25

"I, even I, am He Who blots out and cancels your transgressions, for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins." Isaiah 43:25

This is an incredible verse. Read it a couple of times and just mull it over. For whose sake does He forgive us?

Wow!

I'm not enough of a theologian to feel qualified to touch all the points that I'm sure are being made in this verse. But I see one. Read through it again and count or mark how many times God refers to Himself in this verse. How many times does He mention us?

We've heard over and over again how we forgive others for ourselves, more than for them. Here is the biblical basis, the ultimate example of God Himself. God forgives us for His own sake. Yes, we benefit. We benefit beyond belief. But He does it for His sake. That is what He does. That is Who He is.

What would happen if we really took God at His Word and trusted that He knows best in this area? What would happen if we really started forgiving because that is what we do as Christians - it is who we are. We are forgivers, and we forgive others for our own sake?

Chew on that for a bit, and feel free to comment here or join the facebook discussion.

Proverbs 10:12

"Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses." Proverbs 10:12

The word love here can mean to love, or just to like, or in the sense of being an ally. I really love that. I looked up ally and some of the synonyms are: partner, supporter, helper, collaborator, assistant.

I was thinking about what it means for us to be an ally of someone who has offended us. Isn't that the most preposterous thing to think about? 

I think it is probably our biggest tendency when we are offended to focus on the relationship between ourselves and the one that offended us. What would change if we began to focus on our relationship between ourselves and the ONE WHO forgave us? The ONE we belong to? What if we began to see ourselves in partnership with the Lord, the ONE WHO fills us with His love and makes all things possible?

Here are some things I think would happen:

1. We would see every person as valued and loved by God.


2. We would see every person as the way God sees them.


3. We would see our role as their ally in becoming who God wants them to be.


4. We would let God's love fill us and cover the offenses of others.

What do you think?

Psalm 145:8-9

The LORD is gracious and compassionate,

    slow to anger and great in faithful love.

  The LORD is good to everyone;

    His compassion [rests] on all He has made.

Psalm 145:8-9 HCSB

His compassion rests on ALL He has made. Not just some. Not just me. Not just you. Not just those that behave or treat others well. His compassion rests on ALL. Have you ever really thought about that?

We are often caught up in the world's theory of thinking that "good" people deserve God's mercy and "bad" people don't. Worse yet, we are often guilty of thinking we get to decide who is good and who is bad. Aren't we funny, how we think we can take God's job?

How would your life change if you truly began to view every.single.person as being just as valuable, priceless, loved, and deserving as you believe you are?

Just a little something for us all to think about today.

Psalm 103:11-12

"For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great are His mercy and loving-kindness toward those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:11-12

I don't know about you, but sometimes I think I spend too much time focusing on the verses that tell us to forgive and not enough time focusing on the ones that tell us how God forgives us.

I want to follow the model of the Lord. I want to forgive like He forgives.  When we refuse to forgive someone, we literally chain them to us. They become our prisoner. They can't get out until we choose to release them.

God releases us. He removes our sins as far as He can from us. We don't even have to trip on them on our way out of the prison cell. There are no photos on the wall to remind us of our mistake. He removes them as far as the east is from the west.....which is never really ends!

I want to learn to set others free the way God has set me free! What about you?

Forgive

  "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:12-15

Facebook is an interesting thing. It enables you to connect with all kinds of people from your past - friends and enemies. Thankfully, on Facebook, you have an "easy button." You can just hit "ignore" when an enemy soldier requests your friendship. But the interesting part, is the feelings that even the request stirs up. You can hit "ignore" to the request. But you can't always just hit "ignore" to the feelings that stir up in your heart.

Awhile back, someone who had hurt me in the past, requested my friendship on Facebook. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I thought of them. I really believed I had totally forgiven, forgotten, and moved on. In my blissful ignorance, I preferred to believe that they had probably repented and changed...and if they had the opportunity would beg for forgiveness. I have heard of trials they have faced in the years since, and figured that their compassion had probably deepened. But when the Facebook request hit my inbox, I suddenly felt slammed into a wall of anger, frustration, fear, and disbelief.

After taking some time to think, I decided to assume the best. Perhaps they had completely turned around and were looking up all their past victims on Facebook to repent and clear their conscience of their offenses. So, I messaged back and hinted at my surprise and poor memories of our past, giving opportunity to divulge an apology. However, when my comments were meant with silly sarcasm, I realized that this person was at best completely clueless or at worst, still looking to devour. So, I hit the easy button: ignore.

But as I mentioned before, you can't just ignore the whirpool stirred up in your heart. So I was forced to confront and deal with reality and process some things about forgiveness. Here are some things I have processed and a few new that I have learned:

Forgiveness doesn't require anyone else's repentance. Forgiveness is an act of our own heart. It is coming to a deeper understanding of what Christ did for us on the cross and his challenge to us in Matthew 6:12-14. It is accepting God's offer to heal our hearts and “teflon coat” them from bitterness. It is the refusal to allow the hurtful acts of others to damage our soul.

Forgiveness allows us to pass God’s love (or what is called agape love) to the ones that hurt us, even if the relationship isn't healed enough to extend phileo (or brotherly/friendship) love. Forgiveness keeps your heart soft towards the Lord and towards the possibilities of restoring the relationship with the offender.

It is pretty sobering to realize that God takes this so seriously, that He hinges our own forgiveness upon it.

I spent last night in a pile of tears and kleenex and pillows while God opened my eyes to the grudges I was holding. I had completely blown up earlier in the night at two little munchkins who had shoved all their toys and dirty clothes under their beds and tried to pass it off as clean. I realized after I sent myself to my room to calm down that I was holding resentment over lots of stuff. I was feeling used by my family as I picked up after everyone; feeling resentful that Bill isn't healing very quickly and I'm left to handle so much; feeling angry at God for being in this situation. It was all really piling up in my heart - and of course taken out on the wrong little people. I needed heart surgery - and a good night's sleep. The whole world looks better when you've been able to forgive.

Is there anyone you need to forgive today?