Trusting My Man

In the early years of our marriage, my husband worked full time, and went to school almost full time. He was REALLY busy. If he was home, he was writing papers or sleeping.

I was a full time, stay at home mom. It made sense for me to take care of everything else at home. That was my job....going to school and working were his.

Fast forward many years. He is done with school. He works full time. So do I. Our roles and jobs have changed.

However, as roles changed, there were some things I had a hard time letting go of. You see, as a full time mom, I automatically assumed that I understood our kids better. I knew their habits, their quirks, their likes and dislikes. I was, in fact, with them 24/7. If Bill had to leave town, he went by himself and left me with the kids. If I left town, I took all the kids with me. Didn't it make sense that I would know them better than him?

See, part of being a stay at home mom, means that your kids are your job. It makes sense that you want to do your job well, know it better than anyone else, and be able to defend your work.

However, that can be a bit negative when it comes to the mother/father partnership because moms shouldn't be competing with dad over their kids. Yes, it is true, I may know which kid prefers grape jelly over apple butter and where they hide when they need to go to the bathroom - but God gave my kids a dad for a reason. He understands things that dads were meant to understand, especially about boys. My boys don't need two moms - they need a mom and a dad.

Bill has (unfortunately) had to fight me a bit for his right at fatherhood. He wants to push our boys in ways that I'm not comfortable with, and I want to jump in front of them and protect. He wants to be hard on them for things that I feel they deserve more mercy, and I try to intervene.

God has had to humble me on a number of occasions. Sometimes, it is the Holy Spirit's simple conviction. Sometimes it is the eye-opening experience of our kids trying to decide which parent they should side with (yikes!). Sometimes it is the simple aggravation that Bill expresses to me when he's fed up with me trying to control his role as a father.

God is doing a work in me. He is teaching me to trust my husband and set him free to be the dad. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Not sure why it has been so hard for me. Maybe some of you can relate. God is teaching me to trust Bill's fatherhood instincts, even when I don't fully understand.

I'm grateful that my four boys have a father who is willing to fight for them, who has so many dreams for them. They truly have the best!

Happy Father's Day, Bill!