When War Touches Your Family - by Kendra

In honor of Memorial Day, Kendra gives us a peak inside a military family, and the sacrifices they make. Thank a soldier today!

War. To a military family, that word means more than TV news broadcasts. It means someone is fighting to protect and defend the freedoms we hold dear, and that someone is a person we love. Often the word “deployment” follows hand in hand, and a whole new set of definitions must be explored.

Deployment has touched our family, and unfortunately, so has the word “wounded”. At a very young age, our children have learned what it means to send loved ones to a war zone. It was almost fun for them as we wrote letters and made up care packages to send off to Iraq and Afghanistan. However, one day, a phone call came that wasn’t fun. Our oldest was 3 when we were told that Uncle B had been wounded in action in Iraq. How do you deal with that? How do you explain to a small child that someone they love has been hurt? How do you explain why mommy stopped washing dishes and sat on the floor of the kitchen?

As a family, we felt the best way was to stay positive, but allow the truth. Uncle B had a boo-boo. She already knew that he was in Iraq. We had already looked at the map, and often discussed where he was in comparison to where we were. She knew and understood that there were people in this world that wanted to take away the things that were special to us, and that her Daddy, Aunt, and Uncle were all serving in the military to make sure she stayed nice and safe at home with Mommy. We used prayer as a tool to help us cope. We prayed and thanked God that Uncle B worked so hard to keep us safe. We prayed that the people who gave him a boo-boo would stop and learn to be kind. And, of course, we prayed that Uncle B’s doctors would know how to take care of him and he would get better. He did, and he is home safe today. That was almost 2 years ago. But, the story doesn’t end there.

We live in a military world. The doctors we go to see for everyday kiddo ordeals work in a military hospital. In that hospital, they also treat soldiers that have returned from war wounded. It is not uncommon to see a soldier that has been burnt, or one that has had to suffer the loss of a limb. How do we deal with that? While Uncle B’s wound was a terrible thing, it did help us to lay a foundation for discussions. Wounded soldiers are just another friendly face to us. We have explained, in terms our children understand, why those soldiers do what they do. They understand that in our world, not everyone is kind. Most of all, they understand that people out there love them so much that they are willing to sacrifice themselves in order to keep us safe. In truth, it is a simple reality, and one that even the youngest of children in a military family will be forced to deal with. Do not be afraid of the reality. If dealt with in a positive and heartfelt manner, children are able to understand more than we think they can. How do I know this? I grew up the same way. I knew at a tender age what it meant to send Daddy off in his airplane to war. My parents did a wonderful job helping me to understand why my Dad did what he did. Now, it is my job to help my children understand why their loved ones do what they do.