Forgive

  "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:12-15

Facebook is an interesting thing. It enables you to connect with all kinds of people from your past - friends and enemies. Thankfully, on Facebook, you have an "easy button." You can just hit "ignore" when an enemy soldier requests your friendship. But the interesting part, is the feelings that even the request stirs up. You can hit "ignore" to the request. But you can't always just hit "ignore" to the feelings that stir up in your heart.

Awhile back, someone who had hurt me in the past, requested my friendship on Facebook. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I thought of them. I really believed I had totally forgiven, forgotten, and moved on. In my blissful ignorance, I preferred to believe that they had probably repented and changed...and if they had the opportunity would beg for forgiveness. I have heard of trials they have faced in the years since, and figured that their compassion had probably deepened. But when the Facebook request hit my inbox, I suddenly felt slammed into a wall of anger, frustration, fear, and disbelief.

After taking some time to think, I decided to assume the best. Perhaps they had completely turned around and were looking up all their past victims on Facebook to repent and clear their conscience of their offenses. So, I messaged back and hinted at my surprise and poor memories of our past, giving opportunity to divulge an apology. However, when my comments were meant with silly sarcasm, I realized that this person was at best completely clueless or at worst, still looking to devour. So, I hit the easy button: ignore.

But as I mentioned before, you can't just ignore the whirpool stirred up in your heart. So I was forced to confront and deal with reality and process some things about forgiveness. Here are some things I have processed and a few new that I have learned:

Forgiveness doesn't require anyone else's repentance. Forgiveness is an act of our own heart. It is coming to a deeper understanding of what Christ did for us on the cross and his challenge to us in Matthew 6:12-14. It is accepting God's offer to heal our hearts and “teflon coat” them from bitterness. It is the refusal to allow the hurtful acts of others to damage our soul.

Forgiveness allows us to pass God’s love (or what is called agape love) to the ones that hurt us, even if the relationship isn't healed enough to extend phileo (or brotherly/friendship) love. Forgiveness keeps your heart soft towards the Lord and towards the possibilities of restoring the relationship with the offender.

It is pretty sobering to realize that God takes this so seriously, that He hinges our own forgiveness upon it.

I spent last night in a pile of tears and kleenex and pillows while God opened my eyes to the grudges I was holding. I had completely blown up earlier in the night at two little munchkins who had shoved all their toys and dirty clothes under their beds and tried to pass it off as clean. I realized after I sent myself to my room to calm down that I was holding resentment over lots of stuff. I was feeling used by my family as I picked up after everyone; feeling resentful that Bill isn't healing very quickly and I'm left to handle so much; feeling angry at God for being in this situation. It was all really piling up in my heart - and of course taken out on the wrong little people. I needed heart surgery - and a good night's sleep. The whole world looks better when you've been able to forgive.

Is there anyone you need to forgive today?