Yep, that's me this week. I just took a heaping spoonful of hard to swallow, bitter tasting medicine created by my own two hands.
Does this ever happen to you as a mom? How about in life in general?
Life has been, to put in the words of one of my co-op students, "NUTSO"! We have been sick, hubby has been TDY (Army-speak for traveling for work), and I am just all around worn out by allergies. Did I mention sick? It seems I let the situations in my life get the best of me. My exhaustion took over, and guess what I did? You are so smart. Yes, I started yelling...again. Truly, I wonder who lives in this body sometimes.
One night, after a screaming match with children before bed, I turned to my husband and we both realized what we had done. Shoot it all, we were yelling again. How did it happen? I realized a lot of little things added up to be big things. I had been skipping breakfast time with the children. This is our normal devotion time. I had been skipping my study time at nap time, opting to pass out instead. We hadn't been to church in over a month due to someone being sick in the family at all times. We had been skipping our prayer time at night. Since my husband wasn't home to pray with me, I'd get lost in blog land until my eyes drooped. Little things...all added up to one big thing: a mommy who wasn't spending any time with the Lord, and a house with a lot of yelling. We had been doing so very well. People were noticing how much we had changed, and our house was as peaceful as a house with 4 small children could be. I was feeling proud...oops, there was one more thing: PRIDE. Yes indeed, it does go before a fall. This fall just happened to be into old habits.
It all boiled down to one big problem. I hadn't spent any time with the Lord, and neither had my family. Last night, I spent time reading through all the lessons God had so patiently brought to me over the course of my Quest. Man, did those verses humble me. So, here I am. I tried. I did well. I failed. I asked for forgiveness, and I am trying again. It seems the Quest to become a Quiet Grace Filled Mom is one I will be on for quite some time! I invite you to join me again as I stumble and trip through this journey of motherhood. I hope you are doing better than I have. But, I promise not to give up! God loves me. I can rest in that for sure!!!
These are the bitter pills I swallowed:
I have asked the Lord to forgive me, and prayed that he continue to show me how to become a Quiet Grace Filled Mom. I will contine to share with you what I learn, and when I stumble.
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